I had my birhtday and my husbands kids with their spouses came over to our house and they did not even bring a flower for my birthday.. I do not know its kind of shoking for my culture.. I am from Russia and we never go to anyone house with empty hands..Is that norm here? Its not that they do not have any money.. I did not expect anything from them but at least one flower..
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June 7th, 2010 at 5:36 pm
i wouldn’t. they seem dumb
June 7th, 2010 at 6:25 pm
You are correct. It is always proper to bring a gift or something for someones b-day. If not a gift then take them or make dinner dinner or even a dish to pass at the get together. That is strange they did not bring anything, not even flowers.
Other than that I hope you were able to have a happy b-day!
June 7th, 2010 at 7:00 pm
No it is not normal. These people were very ignorant and rude to do this. I hope you mentioned this to your husband so he can remind them of their manners! Happy Birthday.
June 7th, 2010 at 7:30 pm
Normally you would take at least a small gift, but it’s not unheard of for family to get together to celebrate a birthday without bringing gifts. Just the family being together for the event is enough for some folks. Maybe that’s the tradition in your husband’s family. I wouldn’t hold it against them. Everyone celebrates and feels about celebrations in a different way.
June 7th, 2010 at 7:45 pm
If they come to your house and know it’s your birthday it’s proper to bring a gift. Or at least a card (if your not close).
If they didn’t know and find out while there then sending a card after saying happy birthday is the LEAST they should do.
And for the person that said it might be “normal” in their family. Lets see what the kids say next time you go their house for a birthday celebration and don’t bring a gift! Bet those kids would be mad! I bet your husband would remember to bring them something!
They were being rude.
Happy Belated Birthday
June 7th, 2010 at 8:23 pm
Its definitaly rude. Especially if its their father’s wife.
June 7th, 2010 at 9:01 pm
Gifts tend not to be exchanged when the guests don’t know the birthday person well, and this is considered fairly acceptable. A truly polite person will bring a small gift of flowers or wine.
Although, even when the guests know the birthday person well, gifts aren’t always exchanged. Gifts at birthdays tend to be looked at as a children’s thing.
Basically, don’t take it personally. Yeah, it would have been nice if they had brought a small gift, but you should overlook it if they do not.
June 7th, 2010 at 9:50 pm
Since this was family, I have to agree with the person that said it might be what this family does on birthdays. I was taught that it’s considered rude to “expect” gifts on any occasion, but at the same time I was taught that you should give at least a card or some small gift when going to someones house for a birthday celebration. Doesn’t make a lot of sense, huh? Anyway, most people treat family a little different than they would treat a friend, so you might just look at it like the kids have accepted you as part of the family and are treating you and your birthday like they treat each other. Not everyone makes a big deal out of birthdays and some people would rather not acknowledge them at all.
I don’t think your step-children intentionally snubbed you, as most of the other answers hinted at, so I hope you can get past this and observe what happens on birthdays in the future before making any rash decisions about how you feel toward these adult children. Reading most of the other answers gave me the impression that these people just love to think the worst of people and are willing to stir things up when none of us knows you, your husband, step-children, or anything about you other than you are from Russia. Not much to go on when giving advice, so take it all with a grain of salt………..
June 7th, 2010 at 10:23 pm
Gift giving and party etiquette has gone right out the window in this country. Here’s what is acceptable in American culture:
When you go to a party (even a dinner party) you NEVER go empty handed. A birthday party requires a gift for the guest of honor.
You NEVER throw a birthday party for yourself. It is almost like telling people to bring you gifts.